After reading a post I saw in a group, I became curious about a question it brought up for me.
Why is it so easy to say we want one thing and then settle for something else?
Whether it’s a supportive relationship and settling for one that brings you down.
Or an empowering job and settling for one that is demanding and draining.
Or a healthy body and settling for one that is sedentary, sore, and undernourished.
Or a business that is thriving and progressive and settling for one that may be busy but lacks joy, passion, or much profit.
Now, I’m not talking about little bouts of missteps and failures on the way to success. I’m talking about patterns, relentless stalemates, and the uncanny ability we have as humans to find ourselves deeply imbedded in the very muck we said we wanted to avoid.
So why is it that if I ask for a green apple and you hand me a red apple, I can say, “No thanks, I asked for a green apple.”
But when we say we want that great relationship, job, body, or business, we can somehow stumble into the exact opposite...and often linger there foreverrrrrr?
I think it comes down to a few small, but wildly important things.
When we say we want that healthy relationship, are we really believing we can have it? Because if we truly believe we can have that thing we want, why are we settling for not only the absence of that good thing, but also the burden of now living with the opposite?
So when we say we want a good job, a healthy body, a thriving business, are we actually asking for it? Or are we hoping and wishing, believing that hopes and wishes qualify and believing the universe somehow will line up the right set of circumstances to satisfy our desires.
When faced with the option to choose between a green and a red apple, it’s pretty simple to tell if we’ve been offered the wrong apple, right?
So, when we’ve been offered the wrong relationship, job, health status, or level of achievement, why are we not just saying “no thanks” and reaching for the chosen one instead?
That same level of clarity we use to opt out of the red apple for the green apple - we need to use that level of clarity to opt out of what we do not want, in order to opt in to what we do.
Red or green. The apple you choose has very little significance here. We know how to make strong decisions about fairly insignificant choices.
So what about the big stuff?
Supportive or negative. That relationship you choose has significance.
Empowering or demanding. That job has significance.
Healthy or undernourished. That body you choose has significance.
Thriving or struggling. That business you choose has significance.
So, how do we honor those significant options in our lives?
- We can choose to be intentional in our thought, words, and beliefs. They are no longer hopes and wishes, they are choices. They are no longer just desires, they are destiny.
- We can identify what those choices will look like and what they won’t look like. Get a pen and paper and write it down. Get clear on your expectations.
- We can say, “No thanks” and no longer look at a red apple as having the potential to turn green if we try really hard, or love it enough, or spend enough time with it, or throw enough money at it. Get my message here?
Friend, we are all human. We are all on a journey. We will have missteps and learn through the struggles.
Now it’s time to honor our own journey by knowing who we are and believing in that girl so hard that our choices sync with our desires, in order to manifest all the success you were put here to achieve.
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